Learning is Bitter Sweet

They say that the only time you're really learning about yourself is when things are going badly for you, when things are miserable, and when you're happy you're technically just floating in existence. I suppose this is why studying tends to carry the astigmatism of being a miserable activity.

However, it's not uncommon to hear people say, and I fit in this category, "I love to learn." But does this mean that people like this enjoy being miserable; that we enjoy being unhappy? I don't think so. I think that maybe, subconsciously, we understand that the only way we will ever know happiness is to know misery; that we can't have one without the other.

Something I find myself doing, and I don't think I'm alone in this, is dwelling more on the bad moments in life. Now, I'm not saying that I just think about all the terrible things that happen to me in life. What I'm saying is that, the bad events that happen, I tend to spend more time thinking about them. I'll run the particular event through my head over and over, studying every part and every angle of it. I'm learning. I'm learning what not to do next time; what to do better next time; the correct steps to take next time. I think about happy times, but not like I do the bad ones. I don't catch myself running them through my head like I do the others.

How much is too much though? How do you know when you've thought about things too much? How do you know when you haven't thought enough. I mean thought is a relaxing sip of hydrochloric acid. Sometimes I wish there was a guide on it instead of it just being left to pure intuition.

The undying fact is that learning is bitter sweet. You have to have the miserable times to be able to accomplish and enjoy the happy ones. I don't like the system. Unfortunately it's the only one we'll ever be able to comprehend or use.

It's the sour that makes the sweet that much sweeter.

                        <>< C. T. Gunn